Wasn't Expecting That
by Valerie3
Summary: A continuation of what might have happened immediately following Season 1 of Fuller House, after Matt and Steve leave.


As they continued to stare at D. J., Matt leaned over to Steve and said, " **Wow, she picked herself. I did not see that coming**."

" **I don't know. I thought she was going to pick you** ," Steve admitted.

In shock, Matt turned to Steve. " **I thought she was going to pick you**."

" **Hey, you want to go get a beer?** " Steve asked.

" **Ah, I could use one** ," Matt said, tilting his head back in exhaustion. The past few weeks of competition had not been the easiest, and this took decision took the cake. Or rather, the girls had eaten the cake. It just hadn't been the best day for him. " **Maybe three**."

" **I could use a pizza** ," Steve admitted. " **Maybe three**."

" **Mmm** ," Matt agreed as he slung his arm around Steve's shoulders and led him out the backyard. The girls began to chat behind them, but the two men ignored them. There had been enough girl drama with Kimmy's several appearances of cold feet and of course with D. J. It was time to the men to take their own time for themselves. People can only handle so much indecision and hesitation before it drives them mad, after all.

"What are you thinking? Pepperoni?" Matt asked.

"Only pepperoni?" Steve gave him a look as they maneuvered their way through the side gate into the Tanner's front yard, still connected by Matt's arm. "You're thinking way too simple. You gotta have mushrooms and onions too. Might as well just get a supreme. More toppings, more deliciousness."

"Okay, I can live with that," Matt agreed. "But no olives. Those things are disgusting."

Steven looked affronted. "Olives are great! I don't what you're talking about."

"And I could never understand you. Olives?" Matt shook his head in pity and squeezed Steve's shoulder. "You'll come around to the right side eventually."

"D.J. loves olives," Steve offered. "So does Max."

"You have to admit, though, that the Fuller family can be a little weird. As much as I love spending time with D.J. and want to be with her…" he trailed off, but then added, "Although that might just be Kimmy's presence."

"Hey," Steve interjected, frowning. "Kimmy's great. She's…Okay, yeah. Not gonna lie, she can get a little crazy. But in a good way," he reassured Matt.

"She almost got arrested at the Giants game."

"She was escorted out by security," Steve said. "There's a big difference."

"True," Matt conceded. "I mean, Stephanie was booed by the entire stadium, broke up with her boyfriend, and then had to be escorted out too. Kimmy was pretty tame, compared to that."

"Yeah," Steve said, and laughed. "You never know what to expect when you're around the Tanner family. And Fuller family," he added after a moment's pause. "Things always stay interesting."

"You got that right. They're like their own reality show. Or soap opera. But you can't help but be pulled into the craziness yourself."

"Yeah," Steve admitted. They came to a stop at the street, and the two men gazed at their cars. "My place or yours?"

"I already have some beer at my place."

"Okay. Where do you live?"

"Oh, it's easy to get there, I'm only thirty minutes away. Just follow me," Matt said, taking a step toward his car, and finally pulling his arm away from Steve.

"I'm not the best at following people," Steve admitted sheepishly, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. "I always get lost." He interjected as Matt started to open his mouth, adding, "And before you say something, I'm awful at following directions. Even with my phone helping me, I almost always get turned around at least once."

Matt smiled wryly. "And I doubt you would be familiar with where I live, since you said you've lived in this area your whole life." He shook his head in amusement. "Just hop in my car."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, no problem. After today's little fiasco, I really don't mind."

* * *

For the past ten minutes of the drive, the two were quiet despite their earlier camaraderie. Staring out the passenger window, Steve finally broke the silence. "If we're really trying to be buddy-buddy tonight, then I gotta be honest. When I saw you and Deej kissing on the jumbotron, I was so pissed. I wanted to give you a piece of my mind for taking advantage of her."

"I wasn't-" Matt began.

"I know. I know that now. Obviously, I came around once she explained what had happened. Maybe not right away, but it happened. Doesn't change how hurt I felt then. But I let that pain go. I could never stay angry at D.J., or anyone she's close to."

They were silent for a while before Matt admitted, "When you said you had kissed her that morning, I thought it was a joke at first. Or you were lying, just trying to make me jealous. Then, I realized it wasn't a joke, and she wasn't fully mine. I don't think she ever had been."

"If it makes you feel better, she obviously hasn't been all mine either. Not since years ago, anyway. She hasn't gotten over losing her husband. Not fully. And her family's her focus right now."

"Yeah," Matt said, swallowing. "They're the ones taking priority in her heart right now, and like she said, she's not ready for a serious relationship. She needs to think about herself, after everything she's gone through. She deserves it."

"Yeah," Steve agreed, a somber expression on his face. After a pause, he forced a laugh. "Enough about the doom and gloom, we haven't even had a beer yet."

"God, this is awful," Matt said, a small smile overtaking his lips. Steve watched him as Matt shot him a grin. "Got any happier subjects up your sleeve?"

"We already covered sports, with all the talk about that Giants game," Steve said.

Matt laughed. "We didn't even talk about the game itself. What have we come to, talking about everything about a game except the score and the players themselves?"

"We're poor excuses for men, obviously. Just like you're a poor kisser," Steve added, smirking.

"Hey," Matt said, fighting a smile. "I told you I wasn't trying. I'm way better than that. D.J. said she thinks I'm a great kisser, after all."

"Well, she said I'm a great kisser too, and believe me I when I say I can tell when I've gotten a good kiss. That thing we shared was not a good one."

"Only because you pulled away too soon. If you would have given me a chance, I could have impressed you," Matt claimed, smirking.

Steve laughed. "I can't believe we're discussing this."

"What, you're too straight to talk about one little kiss with another guy?"

"No, it's too weird to talk about my accidental kiss with my not-girlfriend's other not-boyfriend," Steve said. "I mean, I like women, but you're not too bad looking." He gave the other man a glance-over. "Pretty easy on the eyes, especially in that suit."

"Thanks. You too. I can see why D.J. likes you so much. Okay personality and pretty okay looking too."

"Just _okay_?" Steve said, half-smiling.

"What, you fishing for compliments?" Matt asked, another sideways glance to the other man.

"No. Well, not really." He paused. "Maybe," he admitted.

Matt grinned. "Okay, I think you look good too. I'm not entirely straight, and I can appreciate a good suit. I'm just not a fan of your hair."

Steve frowned a little but conceded, "You know, me neither, but sometimes you just gotta work with what you have." He sighed. "I used to have great hair."

The two men exchanged commiserating looks.

"If you want," Matt said after a pause, "you can go ahead and order the pizza. We should be there in ten minutes."

"Sure," Steve said, and got out his phone.

* * *

"And then," Steve paused for a moment, too overtaken by his laughter, "she said, 'but my Chihuahua needs something to eat. I need the steak medium rare for my snookums,'" he paused again as Matt snorted, joining in Steve's laughter, "'because she's my precious little werewolf who likes the blood in her meat.' Then she started patting her purse. The waitress just looked at her like she was crazy."

Matt burst out laughing, leaning into Steve, who was seated on his couch next to him. Their empty beer bottles and pizza boxes adorned the coffee table in front of them. He stopped to take a breath from his laughter and managed to ask, "What did you do?"

"Well, I stayed till the end of dinner like a gentleman, but then I high-tailed it out of there. And that remains, to this day, the worst first date of my life."

"She really carried a dog around in her purse?"

Steve burst out laughing, letting his hand drop to Matt's knee. "That's the thing," he said, "when she opened the bag in the middle of dinner, there was no dog in there. She was so shocked. Apparently she had forgotten the dog at home, and ended up shoving the steak inside her purse. She didn't even ask for a to-go box."

Matt gave Steve an incredulous look. "Yeah," Steve said, "that's what I thought. She was way too weird for my tastes.

"I don't even know how you find a girl like that," Matt said, shaking his head.

"The internet, man," Steve said, squeezing Matt's knee before relaxing back into the couch. "It's a weird place."

"They can't all be as nice as D.J." Matt said, patting Steve's hand, and then letting his hand rest atop the other man's.

"Yeah," Steve said, smiling contentedly. He looked at Matt. "They can't all have nice hair, great teeth, sweet smile, nice eyes…"

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you're describing me."

Steve met Matt's eyes. "What if I am?"

Matt's glance became heated as his breath quickened, his eyes glanced downward from Steve's eyes, and his lips parted. "Remember how I said I can do a better job with that kiss? Wanna try?"

Steve's lips curled into a smile. "Sure," he said, and the two men slowly leaned into each other.


End file.
